So life after baby as a parent has been a breeze, sometimes I wonder if adding a fifth wouldn’t even be a big deal because with Eli it doesn’t feel like any more work than before and isn’t overwhelming at all. It’s been simply fabulous. He is a delightful child and his little oo’s and coo’s and smiles are the most delicious thing ever. Not to say that he is any more adorable than our other children, I wasn’t in the two oldest’s lives at that age so I have no comparison, and with my own daughter, I don’t remember things clearly. I blocked out so much from that time in my life, it’s like remembering through a haze. And it was the first time so you don’t realize how precious each moment is until it’s gone. With Eli I try to imprint every second with him on the deepest part of my memory because I now know how fleeting childhood is in a way I couldn’t fully appreciate with my first.
Over the course of my pregnancy and since Eli’s birth I have fallen in love with Al in a whole new way, he is amazing with him and I love watching them together, the way each of their faces light up, there is nothing quite like the father/son bond when it’s done right. And it is being done so right with those two.
Unfortunately the relationship between Al and I has suffered. It’s stressful. We had kids before but they are older and more self sufficient. And they don’t sleep with us. We had our space and now we don’t, we share it with Eli. It’s not optimal and at times it is very frustrating because we’re trying so hard to find our new “normal”. There is less sex. There is less sex drive (on my end). There is less kid-free time for us (virtually none). It’s no cake walk, but we are getting there. Eli is turning four months in a few days (man time flies!) and I feel like we’re on the upward swing. Of course there are other factors too. We have both been under a lot of stress. Al has been unemployed for most of the year, I don’t know when my next paycheck is my last and it’s been that way for months (project funding gahh!!). That stresses a marriage also! So… new baby, check- job loss, extreme money problems, check- we’ve been through a lot this year but we’re still here and stronger I like to think.
So as we come up on six years together, I look forward to many more. We are stronger each day than the last and I love him forever and always and I know he feels the same way about me and that’s special. I might have challenges but I am a lucky woman.
The Uncategorized Life 