A little clarification

We moved to another state this summer. When you read that, what do think of? A moving truck, lots of boxes, house hunting? All pretty standard, right? I feel like our move has been so different, it deserves another label. We didn’t “move”. There was no moving truck, no boxes, none of the traditional “move” related experiences. We went voluntarily homeless for a couple months, that’s a lot more accurate.

We sold all of our furniture. We donated a good portion of our clothing. We got rid of any food we had left, perishable and non-perishable. We got rid of our cleaning supplies. Many pairs of shoes were donated. All our electronics were sold as well as our dishes, spices and silverware.

When we left Washington we had a 2004 Suburban with a spare, mismatched tire, another patched tire, our clothes, a couple pairs of shoes each, some toddler toys, a few blankets, our set of pots and pans and a few pictures and miscellaneous decorations. We had two nights booked in a hotel and no idea where we would go after those two days. Neither of us had jobs and only one of us had an unemployment income. We had three children under twelve with us and two more we had promised to fly to meet us in our new home that we didn’t have yet in a mere eight weeks.

Just reading that over myself, as the person who experienced it and made the conscious choice to do this, I think I must have been crazy. What person in their right mind would leave everyone they know and do something this drastic, with kids in tow no less?! Well, someone who was bored. Someone who wanted more and knew they could do it, given half a chance. Someone who had grown up in a small town and wanted OUT. Badly and immediately. That is the only explanation, and even I didn’t know I was *that* desperate.

What to do

What do you do when another child says something very hurtful and totally “below the belt” to one of your children? It’s difficult to deal with, maybe complicated because the mother is my friend. She repremanded her, that’s not the issue, but now I don’t even want her kid around, it was just totally mean and uncalled for. I don’t even know how to address it with the child; she knows what she did was wrong and mean and that’s why she did it- just to be mean. I hate when kids are so mean to eachother. 😦

Positive Thinking While Paddling in Shit Creek

If I believed in fairy tales and curses, I might begin to think we are cursed. I do a pretty good job of staying outwardly positive, but I am so tired of EVERYTHING GOING WRONG. Since we arrived in Vegas our air conditioning in the truck has broken twice, our truck exhibits new signs of death every day, both of our cell phones have broken and had to be replaced (not cheap) we’ve had to move three times because of slumlord home owners who don’t want to upkeep their homes, we’ve had to have the truck jump started twice, a car seat broke and had to be replaced, we’ve gone without a fridge for 72+ hours and a washer and dryer for weeks, we’ve gone without a TV, we’ve slept on the floor- all in all you could say it’s gotten pretty ugly. I always try to remind myself that someone, somewhere, has it worse than I do. For the most part it works- did you hear my list of complaints?! There’s people in third world countries that would kill to have any of the luxuries I’ve mentioned, and I’m complaining about one tough summer. That line of thinking usually shuts up the complaining voices in my head.

But not tonight. Tonight I’m wallowing a bit. I’m sad. I don’t have any furniture. I don’t have any friends here. I spend 12 hours a day minimum running from home to babysitter to work to babysitter to home. Then, when I get off, after fighting traffic to pick the kids up, we have to go foraging for dinner and supplies like a goddamned reconnaissance mission- because, one more thing- no gas to cook on the stove with. Oh, and I can’t take a hot, relaxing shower because- no gas. Do you know what it’s like to drive around in 100+ degree weather with three children and no a/c? Not fun. Do you realize how much work it is to re-buy EVERYTHING, when you’re on a budget? From loofahs to toothpaste, from olive oil to salt, from bedding to clothing- having to purchase everything is extremely time consuming. We’ve been to three stores just looking for a shower curtain. I have three bathrooms and I can’t take a shower in a single one. And then, tonight, as the cherry on the proverbial cake, the transmission started slipping in the already un air conditioned truck. If our one semi-working vehicle dies, I don’t know what we will do. It’s like dominos or a house of cards. Everything is intimately connected with everything else. No car, no job, no car- BIG problems. Like, living under a bridge problems. But I refuse to give up. I refuse to give in. Something will start going right, I can feel it. Well, I don’t feel it yet, but hey, positive thinking, right?

A New Chapter

June 14th, we packed up what little we owned after selling all our furniture,  and drove our Suburban from Washington State to Nevada.
It was scary, exciting, and probably pretty stupid. We had no jobs lined up, no housing and drove on one spare tire with three children in tow and a promise made to two others that we would be settled and fly them to us in 8 weeks. I’ll be updating with more posts and details in the upcoming weeks. What I will say right now is that it’s been the most challenging, scary thing we have ever done. But we are succeeding, against even more odds than we anticipated. This will be a story of success.